Category Archives: laughter

Where’s Fall?

fall-autumn-red-seasonDoesn’t this look inviting?

Here in the Southeastern US, we’re still sweltering. Usually by this time (second week in September) we’ve cooled off a little but the forecast isn’t looking good. I decided I’d try to find Fall.

*dials 1-800-MAN-ATUR*

“Thank you for calling Mother Nature’s Consortium. If you know your party’s extension, you may dial it at any time. For Winter, press 11. For Spring, press 12, for Summer, press 13. For Fall, press 14. For Rain, press 21. For Wind, press 22…”

*presses 14*

“I’m sorry … Fall … is not available. If you would like to leave a message, please press the pound key.”

*presses pound*

“I’m sorry, this mailbox is full. Please try again later.”

Maybe the Operator can find Fall.

*presses 0*

“I’m sorry, that extension is busy helping another customer. The current wait time is … four weeks. If you do not wish to hold, please try again later.”

I’ll keep trying and let you know if I find Fall.

Rock Garden Starter Set for Sale

Ever want your very own rock garden? Wish no more! The Herby Lady has put together a set of rock seeds just for you.

Rocks are very easy to grow. They require no special soil, will grow in any condition from full shade to full sun and you don’t even have to water them!

Rocks are perennials … they’ll last for years. Best of all, they’re self-sowing! Just as you think you’ve harvested the very last one, more will pop up in the same bed.

Get your Rock Garden Starter Set today! $1 plus shipping will get you an assortment of rock seeds: no two alike but all will be no more than 2″ in diameter. Supplies are limited: only 150,000 sets available at this writing. Contact rocksareeverywhere@herbylady.com for more details.

Also available: Fallen leaves. Some moss, too.

Signs of a Clueless Husband

The conversation last night:

Hubby: Boy, whatever you’re cooking on your bench sure smells good! (A few oils & vinegars steeping in sealed jars.)

Me: Um … you shouldn’t be smelling anything off my bench. What does it smell like?

Hubby: Mmm. Piney, but not.

Me: Hello? Freshly-harvested bunches of Rosemary hanging?

Hubby: Oh.

 

Laughter: The Best Medicine

I just finished reading the August 2009 edition of Ode Magazine. The entire issue is devoted to laughter. In these tough times, what a wonderful idea.

It’s been said that laughter is good for the soul. It’s good for your body, as well. A hearty belly laugh gets your lymph system flowing; it produces endorphins in your brain, which help to block pain and stress; it reduces the levels of cortisol (you’ve seen ads on TV about belly fat produced from excess levels of cortisol); it’s been linked to the reduction of inflammation (leading to heart attacks, arthritis, allergies and other health problems) and can slow the progression of kidney disease. Best of all, you burn more calories laughing!

I have a friend who constantly forwards jokes via email. No matter how busy I am, I make it a point to read at least one each day. Some elicit just a chuckle, others make me laugh ’til I cry. No matter, I’ve laughed at least once and the day isn’t nearly as stressful.

So, instead of making lemonade when life hands you lemons, start a food fight! You can laugh as you clean up the mess, helping your soul and your body at the same time.

To get you started, here’s a joke from that issue:

A rabbi, a Lutheran pastor and a Zen monk walk into a bar. “Hey, what is this, some kind of joke?” the bartender asks.